Confession: Once our three kids are in bed (after a long day and all of their bedtime shenanigans), I often look at pictures of them on my phone. Clearly, I'm crazy. While I do this, I often reflect on the day, sometimes feeling the guilt of how I handled a situation and discouraged at my ability to have it all together. Have you been there?

Guilt quickly leads to shame. Then we tell ourselves that everyone else has it all together, so there's nobody who can relate. Those are both lies. None of us have it together.

One morning, I prayed for the Lord to reveal to me what I need to do to change, nervous for the answer.

I quickly noticed there were certain places in our house that I got frustrated easily. In the kids' bathroom: "Why is toothpaste everywhere?" At the front door: "Why can't these people put their shoes away?" At the door to the garage: "Hurry up, we're running late!"

I realized that these things triggered frustration in me regularly, which I wasn't ok with. I wanted to change, but old habits die hard.

I thought back to my teaching days, and how some students just needed a visual cue to make a good choice. I needed to do the same for myself. I needed something to change my attitude and remind me of the appropriate response in these areas specifically.

My son and I both love the color green, so I cut out green hearts to tape up in those three areas of the house, just to remind myself that their hearts are at stake.  A reminder to speak words of life to and over my family, instead of hurrying them (physically and in growing up) and frustrating myself.

So, to the discouraged, tired or frustrated parents, I say: Parenthood, at the core, is aboutbeing refined by Christ. Don't be discouraged. It is a marathon. Enjoy this phase. Don't believe the Instagram feeds. You don't have to have it all together, just try to do the next right thing.

It's a process. But thankfully the Lord is patient and gentle with us along the way.